Natural Disasters
Anykids: Jr. and sis
Cast: Ivan and Natasha
Synopsis: After moving from Boogertown to California, the Anyfamily is struck by the TornHurTyphMudQuake and learns to deal with distasters that could happen anywhere…except for dad, who’s using this opportunity to gain cash from desperate people
Songs: Everything’s Gonna be All Right, Sunrise (Natasha Pearce)
Sketches: MCI: Mentally Crippled Idiots, Earthquaker Oats, High Waters Floodwater Jeans, Mudslide, Jell-do Brand Furniture, Hollywood Scares, Dad: Unplugged, Dehydrated Drinking Water, Stincoln Logs, Malibu Mudslide Barbie, Attack of the 5 Foot Woman
Moral: Stay calm in a crisis, and as long as you’re with the people you love, everything will turn out fine!
Non-moral: TV is always more important than Grandma’s heart monitor
Quote: I know the Supreme Court ruled the right to parody but enough is enough!
RTTSARTC: John
Summer Camp
Anykids: Jack and sis
Cast: Ivan and Micki
Songs: Boy Scouts to Men (Bryan Anthony, David Nicoll, Mark David, David Sidoni), What Took You So Long? (Lisa Vale, David Nicoll, Natasha Pearce)
Synopsis: The Anykids are sent to Camp Makeaweewee where they cope with being away from home and learning to overcome homesickness, bug bites, burnt marshmallows and surviving on their own (this coming for a summer camp counselor!)
Sketches: Irani Army Knife, Summer Camp Gold, Depends Sleeping Bags, Slime Atrine Mist, ON, Flameproof Marshmallows, Camp Fear, Gary Coleman Lantern, Camp Fear, Homesick Calling Line, Grass Wipes, Boys in the Woods, Edible or Deadly
Moral: At some time or another, there’ll be a point in your life where you’ll need to rely on yourself to survive
Non-Moral: Mom can still see everything you do, even when you’re miles away at a summer camp!
Quote: Would you like to buy a thin mint?
RTTSARTC: Shawn
Notes: Julene’s wardrobe changes dramatically and goes from dressing casually to super baggy and not-so-tight. All this is the result of her pregnancy, which she manages to keep pretty well hidden from the cameras.
Mistakes
Anykid: Casey
Cast: Ivan
Synopsis: Casey ruins the big game while trying to get the attention of a girl, and keeps making mistakes while trying to sum up to them!
Songs: Don’t Choke, Nobody’s Perfect (Natasha Pearce)
Sketches: Tried, Dead Lobster, Faux Pa, Booboos Anonymous, Foot-in-the-mouth Ballpark Franks, Last Action Gyro, Speed Eraser, Err Jordans, Botch Tape, Incurrectal, Blooperman, A1 Mistake Sauce, Scrawny Paper Towels, It’s a Blunderful Life
Moral: Everybody makes mistakes, but they don’t necessarily need to ruin your life.
Non-moral: If your dad has bad table manners, don’t take him to a fancy restaurant with the girl you like.
Quote: No, I’m just a big, puffy super guy with X-ray eye beams! And I can tell that you once swallowed a quarter! By the way, nice underwear.
RTTSARTC: Ivan
Notes: This episode was filmed live on June 4, 1994. There were a few on-air mistakes, and certain things were adlibbed, such as Mark and Sid chest-bumping after a dance bumper, and Ivan ending with the line, “first I’m gonna say hi to Dominic, and then I’m gonna RTTSARTC!” Also, Julene’s pregnancy has progressed since the fourth season began, and is very noticeable in this episode.
Justice
Anykid: Les Able
Cast: Ivan
Synopsis: Les’s friend Joey is accused of stealing the test scores, but since there’s extra credit in it, he tries to defend him in student court!
Songs: Nothing but the Truth (Lisa Vale, Natasha Pearce), It’s Not Over (David Nicoll)
Sketches: Brace Ventura: Teacher’s Pet Detective, Look-the-other-way Shades and X-ray Bands, Godfather knows Best, F.I.B.: Federal Investigation of Bureaus, Carmen Miranda Rights, Vegetarian Loaf, So Sue Me Street, Perot Officer, Boo Hoo, Hident, Temporary Insanity Kit, Bailiff Says, Objection, The Court Reporter, Supreme Court
Moral: We are all innocent until proven guilty!
Non-moral: Don’t suck up to your teacher.
Quote: Make sure you exit out the back door. Go ahead on in. Hurry up before I change my mind.
RTTSARTC: David N
Superstitions
Anykid: Paul
Cast: Ivan
Synopsis: When Paul wants to audition for Clap-Trap, he wears his lucky underwear and refuses to take them off until his luck changes!
Songs: Oil and Vinegar (Lisa Vale), No Lucky Charm (Natasha Pearce)
Sketches: Sheniqua Explains it All, Yucky Charms, Ramblers Anonymous, Mom Entom, Chain Letters, Hex-Lax, Moron Salt Lick, Dr. Mom: Medicine Woman, Thursday the 12th, Grumpy Old Men, Horoscope, Sara Lee Press-On Nails
Moral: Change your underwear as often as you can.
Non-moral: Don’t break chains letters.
Quote: I got the luck of the drawers!
RTTSARTC: Ivan
History of the Anyfamily part 1
Anykids: Jill and Fred
Cast: Natasha and Ivan
Synopsis: A takeoff on “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” with Jill and Fred and a blender their grandfather made that’s actually a time machine! But when they try to change their parents for the better, they return to the present to find that mom and dad have switched roles!
Songs: What Time is It? (Mark David, Lisa Vale, David Nicoll, Natalie Nucci, Shawn Daywalt, Natasha Pearce), Time Keeps Turning (Natasha Pearce)
Sketches: Coat of Arms, Websler’s Dictionary of Grunts, Love my Tarpit, AC/BC, Chiapetra (a nickname I gave to my sister’s friend!), Ancient Greece Lightning, Viking Bronze, Serfs
Moral: If you ever go time traveling, never try to change history. You may end up screwing up your entire future.
Non-moral: Stand clear of Farticus, he’ll get you whether or not you plug your nose!
Quote: If we're still on
RTTSARTC: Shawn
History of the Anyfamily part 2
Anykids: Jill and Fred
Cast: Natasha and Ivan
Synopsis: Having returned to the present, Jill and Fred find their parents have switched places. With a time-travel port-o-potty, they go back in time to get mom to pull dad’s finger to set things right again.
Songs: Making History (Natasha Pearce, Natalie Nucci, Shawn Daywalt, Lisa Vale, John Crane, Mark David, David Nicoll), It’s a Time Thing (Alfred Carr, Seymour Willis Green), Time Travel Cha-Cha (Mark David, David Nicoll, Lisa Vale, Natalie Nucci, Shawn Daywalt, Natasha Pearce, David Sidoni, John Crane, Ivan Dudynsky)
Sketches: Quantum Leak, Boston Tea House Party, Jerry Lewis and Clark, Calamity Jane’s Addiction, Jesse James Brown, Billy the Kidder, black-and-white TV Dinner, Letters Home…read by cartoon characters, Miracle Fro, Mighty Grooving Flower Power Rangers, Queasy Riders
Moral: If you want your mom to pull dad’s finger, get them alone together, preferably in space!
Non-moral: Remember that once you do the theme song at the beginning of the episode, you don’t need to do it again after the recap of the last episode.
Quote: No, as Maria!
RTTSARTC: Ivan
Stress and Success
Anykid: Darryl
Cast: Ivan
Synopsis: Darryl Anykid’s class is supposed to do their yearend Junior Underachievement Project, but can’t think of anything to do for it! Even worse, there’s a new kid in class that Dad wants to take Darryl’s place!
Songs: Break these Chains, Set me Free! (Mark David, David Sidoni, David Nicoll) Give me a second Chance (Lisa Vale)
Sketches: Shallow Thought by a girl named Candy, Bitter Homes & Garbage, Stress Test, Nerves of Steel, No Wonder Bread, No News is Good Newspaper, Anvil, Hooked on Embryonics, Light Bright Acupuncture Kit, Geez Wiz, Bud Dry, Stress Armstrong
Moral: Don’t let stress get the best of you. You can always get past it.
Non-moral: Be sure to say hello when someone sticks a camera in your face while doing a dance bumper.
Quote: Whoa, I’m seeing stars! There’s Cher, and there’s Whoopie!
RTTSARTC: Ivan
Notes: Ivan assisted in choreographing this episode.
Obsession/Cinderella parody
Anykids: Marsha, Jan and Cinderella (Cindy)
Cast: Micki, Natalie and Natasha
Songs: I Love You (Natasha Pearce)
Synopsis: Cindy is constantly being picked on by her evil stepmom, Carol, and stepsisters, who won’t let her go to the mall to meet the artist once known as Prince and now known by this symbol (sorry, don’t have it on me) and sound affect. But with the aid of her fairy godperson and a pair of silver clogs, she meets her idol...but leaves one clog behind when the mall closes at nine!
Sketches: Addictionary, Wriggley’s Spear-Tipped Gum, Solid Mold, Talking with Food in your Mouth, Driving Miss Crazy, American Obsessed Card, Fix 8, Quit, Tic Tacks
Moral: Don’t let your obsessions get the best of you (I’m still trying to cope with this one, my fix on Newsies is still a bit overwhelming)
Non-Moral: If Shawn says she’ll flip you for it...run like heck!
Quote: They were in the row in front of us!
RTTSARTC: Natasha
Notes: At the end of this episode, Sid holds up a sign that says: "50th episode. Thanks for watching!"
War and Peace
Anykids: Jay and JJ
Cast: Ivan and Mark
Synopsis: Ivan and Mark can’t stop fighting, so the teacher turns it into a civics project, but it turns into war!
Songs: We’ve got a War on our Hands! (Mark David, David Sidoni, David Nicoll, Bryan Anthony, Natasha Pearce, Natalie Nucci, Shawn Daywalt) Let’s Make Peace (Natalie Nucci, Natasha Pearce, David Nicoll)
Sketches: Ramble: First Dud part 2, Strife Cereal, IHOFF: International House of Food Fights, Comeback Boots, Commando Dough, Drill Sergeant’s Flea and Tick Collar, Napalm Olive Detergent, Blower G.I. Joe, Snoople, Whites Out, The Price is too High
Moral: War never makes things better between families. Talk it out and everything will go back to normal.
Non-moral: Never shoot someone until you can see the whites of their eyes.
Quote: Yeah, when was the last time you found one of us with some crayons and the hat to some toy you don’t even have anymore?
RTTSARTC: Shawn
Endings
Anykid: Zack
Cast: Ivan
Synopsis: The show has its final episode, in which the junior highers are graduating. But Zack doesn’t want everything to end, so he takes the fat lady hostage (it’s a gland problem) so he can keep the show going!
Songs: Goodbye (Natalie Nucci, Julene Renee, Mark David), Before you know It (Lisa Vale, Natasha Pearce)
Sketches: Mr. Goodbye, The Terminated, Beverly Hills 9021 Old, Dr. Loretta Curren Hour, American Graduaters, Speed Bump, Greasy-All, Eidelwipe, The Jig is Up, Honda Accordian, Jesse Jackson
Moral: You may think that all endings are bad, but most are good. But in this case, IT ISN’T!
Non-moral: Machine wash warm, tumble dry!
Quote: You’re wrong. We’ve done a lot of shows together. You know, people have come and gone. But the family stayed together. People have gotten sick, and we all pulled through until they got better. And when they didn’t get better…we still pulled together and we were still a family. It wasn’t easy, but life went on. (*dries a tear*)
RTTSARTC: Everybody!
Notes: This final, 52nd episode aired November 14, 1994, and was dedicated to Dominic Lucero, who died on July 1.
